(Baby) Boomer Sooner!

On Saturday I took Missy to the OU football game for her birthday.
We had a great time, but the highlight of the game was the guy sitting directly behind us.
When I titled this blog, (Baby) Boomer Sooner!, what I meant is that this dude's kids were probably baby boomers. He was pretty old.
He had a radio and some cheap headphones, which had OU stickers over each of the ears.
Before I go any further, you should know who Toby Rowland and Merv Johnson are. Rowland is the play-by-play voice of the Oklahoma radio broadcast, and Merv does the color commentary.
I'm not big on listening to games that I'm attending, but in the case of Saturday's game I didn't have a choice. This guy behind us repeated nigh near everything Toby and Merv said throughout the game.
As a journalist, I can at least appreciate the fact that this guy attributed all of his quotes. After a long pass, he'd say, "Toby said Landry (Jones, the OU quarterback) couldn't have dropped that one in any better!!!" After a big hit on defense, he's say, "Merv said that running back will be hearing bells for a week!!!"
And I'm telling you, he repeated something one of those guys said after EVERY play.
Typical of someone his age, he didn't exactly have an inside voice. There were 85,000 people at this game, which wasn't nearly enough to drown out this dude. If receiver Kenny Stills made a good play, he'd go, "KENNY!... KENNY!... KENNY! ... Merv said he's quicker than a rabbit chasing a squirrel!!!"
When OU got close to scoring, he liked to suggest plays. "GIVE IT TO WHALEY!!! WHALEY TO THE LEFT!!!" This would seem ridiculous, but he was probably loud enough for the OU coaches to hear him, even though we were on the opposite side of the field.
He disappeared near the end of the first quarter, appearing on the field to be honored with other members of the 1956 National Championship team. Props to him for that -- a pretty awesome accomplishment.
Less awesome was what happened in the second half.
At OU games, the fans hold up their index finger before every kickoff, shouting "OOOOOOOOO" until the kicker approaches the ball and then one loud "U!" as his foot hits the ball.
Now then, my wife and I are both wearing OU shirts, cheering after every good play, high-fiving after every touchdown, and doing the traditional kickoff chant.
OU ended up winning the game 62-6, and I'm not sure what the score was when this happened, but suffice it to say that OU had already scored a lot, and this guy had seen us doing a lot of cheering.
So it was a little odd when he tapped me on the shoulder following one particular kickoff. He said, "Why were you doing the Hook 'em Horns sign?"
For those of you who don't know, Oklahoma's biggest rival is Texas. Texas fans do the Hook 'em Horns sign. It looks like this. Clearly this not something that anyone -- especially not an OU fan -- would want to do in the midst of 85,000 OU fans.
I just laughed and said, "No Hook 'em Horns for me."
He continued. "No, no, no. I saw your pinky finger in the air. What's the deal with that, son?"
I said, "I'm an OU fan. I promise I wasn't doing the Hook 'em Horns."
He leaned over to his friend and not-so-quietly said, "I know I saw that pinky finger up. He was doing the Hook 'em Horns!!!"

Ah well. I hope that man is really happy on Saturday, and he will be if OU kicks Texas' teeth in when the teams meet in Dallas. Merv said that would be sweeter than your grandma's apple pie. Boomer Sooner!

Have It Your Way (Eventually, Sort of)

I was playing poker recently at Riverwind Casino and got hungry.
Common problem, seemingly simple solution.
There are at least six different places you can eat there, most of them of the fast food variety. I believe the idea is to get you done eating quickly so you can get back to giving the casino all your money.
Riverwind has one of the most generous comp policies of anywhere around for their poker players. And when I say generous, I mean that it's absolutely terrible. Whereas most casinos give you $1 per hour, Riverwind gives you $6.60 every two days, whether you play for 20 hours or 20 minutes in that time span. So they really stick it to the regular customers, which is always a great business plan. I'm not sure where they came up with $6.60, but my guess is that they decided $6.66 would be too transparent (and $6.70 is obviously too much).
My friend Travis and I had the casino put our $6.60 comp on our players' card, and we headed to the food court to eat. We scoped out all four fast-food places and there was nobody in line at any of them. I decided on the chicken sandwich at Burger King and stepped up to place my order.
The young man behind the counter took my order, and when he gave me the total I handed him my players' card and told him there was a poker comp on it. He looked a little confused but he swiped the card and pushed some buttons on his screen, just like they all do. Then he did it again. And again. And again. And again.
Finally he got it to accept my $6.60 but couldn't figure out how to account for the remaining 30 cents on my balance. I handed him a $1 bill but he couldn't get the machine to accept the cash payment along with the comp. He mumbled a few things, snatched up my $1, gave me change and took Travis' order.
Travis handed him his card. He swiped it. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.
Then he started hen-pecking at his screen, getting visibly agitated. Meanwhile I'm just standing there talking to Travis and waiting for my food, which I now realize is nowhere close to being ready since this one young man is the only person working.
Now the guy looks at me and says. "I need your card again. I canceled out both transactions."
I leaned over to Travis and said, "I'm glad this isn't my credit card." He swipes my card a half-dozen times before saying "F*** it," handing us both our cards and walking off.
He's gone for about a minute and returns with another employee, who must have been on his 30-minute weed break because his eyes are open the exact minimum amount possible to be considered awake.
This new guy somehow completes both comp transactions in a total of 15 seconds and walks off, never to be seen again.
Now the first guy is actually making our food. Travis and I are just standing there, waiting and talking, when the most amazing part of this story takes place.
The employee walks to the counter with a bag of food and says, "Number 53!" I assume this is my order and reach out to take the bag when a random middle-aged man walks up. The employee says, "Whopper with cheese?" and the guy takes the bag.
What?!?!?!?!?!?!?
This dude had obviously completed his order before we even walked up, and he waited that whole time without appearing near the counter or offering a single complaint during the entire ridiculous 15-minute ordeal.
I just looked at Travis and we both fell over ourselves laughing.
Now this guy gets to work on our orders, and he burns himself twice on the french fry grease, offering up a few more obscenities.
Needless to say, I wasn't exactly shocked to find that my chicken sandwich was devoid of lettuce and tomato. I thought it was also devoid of mayo, but then I peeled back the bun to find a dallop the size of my pinkie fingernail directly in the middle.
Travis summed up the situation best when, before we had received our orders, he said, "I don't think I'll be coming back here for awhile."

A 5-foot Trophy and a Cherry Vanilla Coke

Wednesday, Aug. 31, 2011 was a totally wasted day for me. Here's how it went.
12:30 p.m. -- Woke up, got around, read the paper, etc.
1-4 p.m. -- Went to Norman to hang out with some friends who were doing a fantasy football draft. I'm not in the league, so I just made fun of every pick that everyone made. While there, we decided to form another league.
4-7 p.m. -- Set up other league. Talked to wife for quite awhile but remember nothing because I was distracted by setting up the other league.
7-8 p.m. -- Drafted a team in a totally unrelated league that consists of friends from Lawton.
8-10 p.m. -- Had dinner with family, played with Addison, cleaned up the house a bit, put Addie to bed. The only two productive hours of the day.
10 p.m.-Midnight -- Drafted for league that was conceived and formed 6 hours earlier.
Midnight-bedtime -- Wrote blog about fantasy football.

I'm not sure it gets more lame than watching a fantasy football draft. And the worst part is, I enjoy fantasy baseball much more than I enjoy fantasy football.


I'm not going to write one of those trite apologist pieces about the reasons we like fantasy sports or about how much productivity is lost in the American workforce because of it. It's obvious that watching random football games is more fun if you have a rooting interest in some of the players and if you can text trash talk to your buddy 30 seconds after a touchdown. It's equally obvious that setting your lineup or making a trade proposal is more fun than whatever you do at your job.
Instead of all that, I'm just going to write about myself and my friends. (In journalism school, they teach you to cater your writing to your audience. "Myself and my friends" just about covers it!

It's all in the name

To me, the most crucial aspect of having a fantasy sports team is naming it. Having a bad team with a creative name is better than getting third place with a name that means nothing or makes no sense. 

The name should either relate to sports or pop culture. Politics is out. If it's a play on your name, it better be really good. If you're a Cowboys fan and you name your team "Cowboys," you will not be in my league next year. 

I'm going to have to look at your team name 20 times a week for the next three months every time I peek at the standings. Please put some thought into it.

Being a huge Seinfeld fan, my teams have long been named Vandelay Industries (after the fake company George Costanza created). Here's a sampling of some of my favorite pop culture team names. All of these teams are owned by friends of mine in a league that I am in. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater (from Anchorman), Wood Chippers (Fargo), Screaming Shivas (The League), Springfield Isotopes (The Simpsons) and Dunder Mifflin Dundees (The Office).

Names with sports references must be well-thought-out to avoid falling into the lame bin. Just because Tom Brady is a great quarterback and you drafted him does not mean it's OK to name your team The Brady Bunch. My friend Mandie had the opposite experience. She drafted Edgerrin James during the twilight of his career, he stunk, and she changed her team name to the Edge Haters, with a logo that was simply a picture of the running back with an X over it. Now that is a sports name with a story behind it and some personality. Mandie's won the league the past two years, so it appears there is no Edgerrin James curse.

Priorities

Most people play fantasy sports for money, but there are more important things in life than money. Like a 5-foot-tall trophy. A few years ago, I won a money league and got paid a couple hundred bucks. The next year, I won Mike Carroll's long-standing keeper league, which is not for money but includes the aforementioned 5-foot trophy. That was a much more satisfying experience.
Missy wasn't a fan of the gaudy trophy -- she made me keep it in our storage unit for the entire year I held it -- but I like knowing that under the huge placard that says FFL CHAMPIONS, there will always be a smaller placard that says Vandelay Industries, 2008. And hopefully Vandelay can snag another spot on that trophy before all of my star players get too old.

The only day all year you were allowed to smoke in the break room

One of my favorite things about fantasy sports is how it keeps you connected to old friends. When I worked at the paper in Lawton, I really looked forward to the fantasy draft because it was the only time all year that I got to see a couple of my since-departed colleagues, who always came back to draft in the old Constitution break room. (A What's up? to James Royal and Adam Calaway). Unfortunately, that league now drafts online, but the fantasy sports world is still a place to post smack talk and remain somewhat connected with friends whose lives have taken them other directions.

800 empty calories and zero regrets

After several years, it goes without saying. If one of my fantasy teams in any sport is playing against the fantasy teams owned by either Nick Livingston or Jacob Unruh, there is a Route 44 Sonic drink on the line. I prefer mine with cherry and vanilla flavoring added, which means I'm clipping those guys for 20 cents extra every time I win, while also clipping myself with a couple hundred unneeded calories. But it's always worth it, especially when I get to the end of the drink and slurp it really loudly through the straw.

By the power vested in me

I am the commissioner of the most competitive fantasy baseball league known to man. It's been around for almost 10 years, and I've kicked out everyone who fails to update their lineup on a regular basis, which is quite a chore during the long baseball season.

In a landslide, the most active player in the history of that league is Mike Carroll. If I didn't cap the number of add/drops you can make in one season, he'd be well over 100 every season. He makes 12 trade offers per week.

Last season, he reached the transaction limit with a month left in the season. That fact, and that fact alone, forced him to win the league championship for the first time. Normally, he gets frustrated if Ryan Braun goes 0-for-4 two days in a row and drops him (True story, Mike actually did drop Ryan Braun). But with no add/drops left to use, his lineup stayed the same for the final month and he ran over everyone in the playoffs.

I never miss an opportunity to get Mike riled up. If anyone else in the league makes a trade, I immediately approve the trade and the players switch teams. But every time a sucker accepts one of his trade proposals, I have to make him sweat it. Sometimes I tell him that I'm getting a lot of complaints from the other league members. Sometimes the Yahoo! rankings show a vast disparity in the talent levels of the players being traded. Sometimes I decide to put it up to a fake league vote, where the same people always disapprove of his trades. After a few hours or sometimes a couple of days, when the trade is still "pending commissioner approval," my phone inevitably blows up with a 3-text dissertation on how his trade is just as fair as the one I immediately pushed through a week before, etc. 

I have to admit that Mike got be back pretty good this past football season. I made a trade, and he took a full week to process it. By the end, I was pretty convinced that he was going to veto it, and I got pretty riled up myself. Well played, my friend.

I try to keep my obsession with fantasy sports under control. Thankfully, Aug. 31 was not a typical day for me. Those two drafts are the only two football drafts I'll do all year, and I don't spend much time looking at the league between Monday and Saturday, when I set my lineup for the week.
I'm confident that my wife would tell you I spend too much time on fantasy sports. But at least it's better than doing drugs.

Lucky in Love

I'll admit it. I didn't mean for the picture to be that big.
I fiddled with it for about 15 minutes trying to make it normal-sized, but I couldn't figure it out. In the end, though, I decided that the picture is a pretty good representation of how important those two girls are to me. And I figured a scientist might want to know how many pores a human has on its nose.
I met Missy about 10 years ago when we were both students at OU. At first we were like most new couples, madly infatuated with each other. I'll never forget the night -- we had been dating for about two months -- when she introduced me to someone and said, "I'm gonna marry that guy." I kept a calm face while ABSOLUTELY FREAKING OUT ON THE INSIDE.
Our relationship got a bit sidetracked for a couple of years when I graduated from OU and took a job at the newspaper in Lawton. Missy still had a couple of years of school left, so we took a break. Even though we weren't "together," we talked on the phone every night after I got home from work and I think that really helped us grow closer and get to know each other on a whole new level.

I'll admit it. I was kind of slutting it up in Lawton. Not in terms of sleeping with a lot of people, but just testing the market, trying to find something. Usually it just lasted one or two dates, because none of the girls were even in the ballpark when I compared them to the one I was talking on the phone with every night. Missy has always had the perfect combination of intelligence and sense of humor.
For awhile I let our differences keep us apart. I kept a more regimented schedule, a more organized apartment, and I liked the stability of my life at that time. Missy has always been more adventurous, more creative, and more flexible. I wasn't sure if I wanted all of that infringing on my comfortable existence.
After five years of being off and on, I could tell that Missy was starting to lose patience with me. I needed to either make a commitment or move on. Ultimately, I decided that I wanted to go on whatever adventures a life with Missy would entail, that my life would never reach its potential on my own in a boring routine, and that there was nobody in the whole world better to spend it with.
At that time, I was making peanuts at the newspaper but poker was starting to become a profitable hobby. I spent every single dime I had made at poker on an engagement ring. For her Christmas present in 2005, I got Missy a teddy bear that looked almost exactly like one I had bought her when we first started dating. The teddy bear was holding the engagement ring.
Considering how wishy-washy and non-committal I had been during my time in Lawton, I don't blame Missy for being shocked that I was proposing. I would have appreciated it if she had answered a little more quickly, however, because I was ABSOLUTELY FREAKING OUT ON THE INSIDE. She seemed excited but finally I had to say, "Are you going to answer me?" She said, "Yes! Yes! Sorry, I thought I already said yes."

Our wedding was the first example of how Missy's adventurous and creative spirit allowed me to experience something better than I could have imagined. If it had been up to me, I would have had a small, simple ceremony in a church. But Missy had bigger plans, renting out the Antique Farmer's Market in downtown Oklahoma City and coming up with elaborate designs and plans for every aspect of the wedding. When the day came, it was absolutely perfect. It was so much fun, eating awesome food, dancing with a DJ, and seeing so many friends, old and new. It was 1000 times better than the experience I would have drawn up for us!
Missy has pushed the envelope on so many things in our lives, pushed me to take chances and try things I would never try on my own. Some examples:
* We've become world travelers! Since we got married, we've been to Costa Rica, Jamaica, and Paris. Our honeymoon in Costa Rica was my favorite trip, spending a few days at a volcano resort inland and the rest of the week on the beach. In December we are going to Thailand to spend the holidays with my family.
* In Lawton we bought an old house that needed a lot of work and we fixed it up! That's not something I ever want to do again, but it was a very rewarding experience. Missy had the vision for the house from the day we walked in it, and it looked amazing when we got through with it. We were able to sell it for $25,000 more than what we paid for it, and that was in the middle of the housing crisis. Had the market not busted, I think we could have made at least twice that much.
* It was Missy's idea to load up the car and take the whole family to Vegas for the last two summers, renting a house. Those were really fun trips, and I did well at the poker tables too.

I'll admit it. One of my biggest fears about getting married was that my wife would turn into a controlling figure and sap the fun out of life. Nothing could be further from the truth with Missy. She lets me hang out with the guys pretty much any time I want to, but more important she wants to help me realize all of my life goals. Recently we have talked about the possibility of me changing careers, and she supports that even if it means I take a pay cut. Of course I also want her to realize her life goals as well, even if it means more school and more student loans :)

Missy has done so many things that I am incredibly proud of. Her warm heart has led her to do many awesome things, from humanitarian work in Africa to taking care of her ailing grandfather for his final few months on this earth.
Her best work, however, came on December 26, 2008 when she delivered our precious daughter Addison without a drop of medication! Missy is so good with Addison, and it's such a blessing to watch them interact on a daily basis.

I can't believe it's been five years since we walked down that aisle. Happy anniversary baby, I love you so much.

Vegas Tidbits

Now that our time in Vegas is up, I thought I'd write about a few of the non-poker things that happened during our month here.
Addison had a great time. She especially loved the swimming pool. She would start chanting, "Cann-on-ball! Cann-on-ball!" She liked it when I did a cannonball and also when she jumped off the edge of the pool to me.
She also loved the guys who were sharing the house with us. She liked to play hide-and-seek with them, but she wasn't the toughest hide-and-seek player in the world. She would always go to the exact same spot, and when the guys faked like they were looking somewhere else, she would scream, "I'M OVER HERE!!!"
Once, when Eric didn't do something she wanted, she told him to go sit in time out, and when he did, she walked over there with a book and hit him on the head with it! I know I'm supposed to get her in trouble for that, but I couldn't quit laughing.

Missy and I let ourselves get roped into one of those time-share pitches. We got two free nights at one of the hotels on the strip and a $100 gift certificate to the Top of the World Restaurant at the Stratosphere. We sat through a two-hour spiel, and it was kind of crazy how everyone turned on us as soon as they realized we weren't going to buy anything.
First off, we were just walking through the Stratosphere when we got stopped and solicited for this meeting. It's not like we expressed any interest whatsoever in their product, so I don't really understand why they would get so mad that we wouldn't want to plunk down $40,000 for their vacation deal. Our saleswoman was super nice to us the whole time, but as soon as I told her we were 100 percent not buying anything, she jumped up without saying a word and took us to her supervisor so he could try to sell us even harder.
We had signed a contract before the meeting stating that we had to be there for two hours to collect our prizes. It had been two hours and ten minutes when she brought us to this guy. So when he started with the silly hypothetical questions like, "Would you like to go to Hawaii for a week for $1000?" or "If you are going to spend X amount of money on vacations, doesn't it make more sense to invest it with us instead of throwing it away to hotels and motels?" I just cut him off and said, "We're not buying anything. We've been here two hours, my mother-in-law is watching our daughter and we'd like to get back home to her."
He slammed our manila folder shut, got up and walked at lightning speed up to the front desk, where we got our hotel and meal vouchers. He walked so fast that Missy was about 10 yards behind him when he got to the front.
It was more than worth it to me to get the free prizes, I just don't get how they can expect to have a high success rate when they do zero vetting of their customers beforehand.

Me and the guys had a fun little contest one night. Eric has a ridiculous frat-party giveaway tank top that may have been white at one time but was now a creamy off-white with faded words that said "Fiji Island 2008."
So we decided to have an Olympics at the house, consisting of three events. We had a pool table here at the house, so that was one event. Then there's a game called Peggle that Travis has been hooked on lately -- look it up if you haven't heard of it. It's kind of like pinball on your laptop. And of course we had a poker tournament, where we played pot-limit Omaha. So we called it the Pool, Peggle, PLO Olympics.
There was no prize for winning the Olympics, but the loser had to wear that tank top to the Aria and play a full poker session with it on. Travis ended up with the honors. I'll try to get a picture to throw up on the blog soon.

Looking forward to coming back to Oklahoma. I miss my family and friends. See you all soon!

Celebrity Poker

I've had a couple of celebrity poker experiences in our time here.
First, I played with Godsmack lead singer Sully Erna early on in our visit. He is not very good at poker but was a nice guy.
The other night, four of us went to Bellagio, and while waiting for our seats we were walking through the high stakes area to check out the bigger games. Randomly, someone said, "You guys must be on the Harvard football team!" and then started laughing hysterically. I looked up, and Boston Celtics forward Paul Pierce is pointing right at us. I hadn't even noticed him. I'm guessing the Harvard football thing was some kind of inside joke. I gave him a quizzical look and then knocked 12 people over running to the front desk to sign up for the $10-20 no-limit game he was at.
My buddy Jason asked to take a picture with the 2008 NBA Finals MVP, but Pierce said he only takes pictures during certain hours. My attempt to play poker with an athlete who makes millions of dollars and probably stinks at poker was also thwarted, as Pierce left before my name was called for the game.
The next night, I played for several hours at the Aria, the nicest and newest casino on the strip. Lots of poker's high rollers play there. I actually took the seat of 2003 World Series of Poker main event champion Chris Moneymaker, who had moved on to a bigger game. Moneymaker was reportedly about 12 drinks deep, according to the guy next to me who was matching him drink for drink. It was pretty comical watching my tablemate and Moneymaker walk toward each other for a farewell greeting a couple of hours later. Each of them was wobbling quite heavily. First I thought my tablemate was going to topple over, then I was sure Moneymaker was going down. But they finally made it to each other so the man-hug could hold them both semi-upright.
The rest of the guys were across the street at the MGM, which is a good place to make some easy money at the lower-limit games. They don't offer a game higher than $2-5, which means none of the high-rolling pros are there, which means the games are full of bad-playing tourists. I decided to walk from the Aria over there at about 11 p.m. to play for a couple hours before we went home.
At about 1 a.m., I was quite surprised to see 2006 World Series of Poker main event champion Jamie Gold take a seat at the table next to mine. I knocked over 12 people running to the front desk to get on the list for that game. I figured having a story to tell was worth more than staying at my game, no matter the result.
To show how poker exploded in popularity after 2003, Moneymaker won $2.5 million for winning the WSOP. Three years later, Gold won $12 million. But Gold hasn't had the smoothest ride since his big payday. He got sued for half of the $12 million and is basically considered to be broke.
I quickly got a seat at his table, and it was the most action-packed table I've been at in years. It was quite bizarre. Gold was known for his big bluffs during his WSOP win, and I guess everyone at the table wanted to impress him. People were bluffing right and left, and nobody wanted to get bluffed so they were calling all the bets with any pair. Meanwhile, Gold himself really wasn't playing any pots. Neither was I -- the cards weren't really cooperating and I sure didn't want to try to bluff this table of maniacs.
I was sitting directly to Gold's right, and he was a pretty nice guy. He's a huge Dodgers fan and when he heard that I was from Oklahoma we spent a few minutes talking about All-Star centerfielder Matt Kemp, who hails from Midwest City.
It did seem more than a little odd that Gold was playing a small-stakes poker game at 3 a.m. when he was supposed to be playing the main event of the World Series a few hours later. About 12 times he said, "I have to quit. I'm playing the main event tomorrow!" Then he kept saying, "I'm only playing three more hands, I promise." After about 50 more hands, he actually did quit, at about 4 a.m.
In this town more than any other in America, you really never know who you might run in to, even when you least expect it.

Lucky in Las Vegas

We've been in Vegas for almost two weeks, and I've been quite disappointed in the quality and quantity of bloggable material since our arrival.
Sure, there have been plenty of people acting like idiots, but none doing anything rising to the level of blog-worthiness.
So instead of writing about the kinds of things I really enjoy writing about, I'll just fill you in on something pretty cool that just happened to me.

I really don't like poker tournaments. I play cash games almost exclusively. Last year, I played one World Series of Poker tournament, and maybe one or two other tournaments the entire year.
I came to Vegas this year with the same plan -- to grind the cash games and maybe play one tournament if I was doing well in the cash games.
I did quite well in my first week here, and a couple of my buddies who are sharing the house with us wanted to play a tournament on Thursday at the Venetian. The Venetian is holding a series of tournaments to compete with the World Series of Poker. They are cheaper buy-in tournaments than the WSOP but they are run very well and have become very popular.
Due to a couple of unforseen events, we only had one car to share between my family and the guys who are sharing our house. I wasn't really amped to play the tournament, but I figured I'd enter it with those guys so we could all ride together and then I'd play cash games after I inevitably busted out of the tournament.
I've always preferred the cash games, where you can start and quit whenever you want, and if you play well you almost always win. In tournaments, they make you start playing at noon(!!!!), grind 14 hours a day, eat dinner when they tell you to, and you can play perfect and get knocked out on one hand. Only 10 percent of the entrants get paid, and only the top one percent make a significant return on their investment. Why would people put themselves through that??? The upside is that you can win 150 times what you invested if you make it all the way to the end, which you certainly can't do in cash games.
It's been five or six years since I cashed in a tournament. Granted, I've only played three to five a year during that span, but I've cashed in nary a one. I'll be the first to admit that my attitude about tournaments hasn't been very good, but whenever I've entered one I've always tried my best. I almost always make a decent run in them, but get knocked out with 10 to 30 percent of the field remaining, just before you make the money.
My friends that like tournaments always tell me the same thing. "Just wait til you score big in one of them. Then you'll love them for the rest of your life."
Well, I scored big in one the other day.

The tourney my friends and I entered was a $350 buy-in at the Venetian. There were 910 people in it and we started at Noon on Thursday. My buddy Travis got knocked out within the first couple of hours and went to play the cash games. 
I made it to the dinner break with a pretty average stack. My buddy Jason had a few more chips than I did. Travis was up $2500 in his cash game, and we all went to eat together.
My anti-tournament side was already a little irritated about what was going on. "I'm going to play for two whole days, beat 95 percent of this field and make less than Travis is going to make in the cash game," I said. "Tournaments are so stupid."
We resumed play and a few hours later we were close to the money bubble. The tournament paid 90 people, and Jason got knocked out with about 150 people remaining. Again, my anti-tournament side was not happy. "Jason just played really well for nine hours and he gets absolutely nothing. And he didn't even do anything wrong. He went all in with a premium hand (Ace-King), got called by a premium hand (a pair of Jacks), and lost what amounts to a coin flip (each player had about a 50 percent chance to win.) Tournaments are so stupid."
Luckily, I got a couple of premium hands and was able to win big pots without having to flip a coin. I had KK vs AK, and AA vs KK. That's just a different kind of luck. My opponents had premium hands but I had them dominated, with about an 80 percent chance to win each hand. Had I ever gotten KK vs AA, I would have been busted too. But as it was, my big hands held up and I coasted into the money for the first time since 2006 or so.
We played until 2:30 a.m., when the field was down to 47 players. We were in the money, but a long way from the significant money. I was pretty excited to have a shot at a big score, but my anti-tournament side would not have been happy if I made an early exit from Day 2 and made less than I would have playing cash games.
I didn't sleep much that night, and I got up early to have lunch and some ice cream with Missy and Addison. That was a lot of fun :)
Then it was back to the Venetian, where they handed out a chip count sheet showing that I was 11th in chips out of the 47. I won a couple of decent pots early on, but then I went pretty card dead and basically folded my way to the final table while other players made silly mistakes or got unlucky to get eliminated.
The final table was 10-handed, and I was eighth in chips at that point.
In most tournaments, by the time you make it to the final table, the blinds are so high that it becomes an all-in fest. This is another one of my biggest gripes about tournaments -- when you get down to the point where there's serious money at stake, there is no real poker play left and it becomes a matter of who can get lucky for thousands of dollars.
But as I mentioned earlier, this tournament was so well run that there was plenty of play left. In fact, nobody was short-stacked enough to be forced to go all-in without a very good hand. After playing for 12 hours on Day 1 and a few hours on Day 2, I didn't want to lose the tournament by bluffing all-in with 5-high.
A couple of people got busted and I lost a pot, making me eighth out of eight in chips. I was in all-in mode for the first time in the tournament, but even then I had enough to wait for a good hand to push with, and enough that my opponents wouldn't want to double me up.
I got lucky to pick up KK and double up, then I flopped a set of sixes and doubled up again. Suddenly I was in decent shape, third in chips with six people left.
Throughout Day 2, I was getting tremendous support from my family and friends, both here in Vegas and back home. Missy and Addie came up to see me for a bit, but unfortunately they couldn't stay long because they won't let anyone under 21 linger in the casino. Jason and Travis were there to root for me and text Missy the updates, and I got lots of encouragement from my other friends. If you were one of them, know that it really meant a lot to me. I was absolutely mentally and physically exhausted, and all the love I got made a huge difference.
We agreed to do some slight tinkering to the payout structure. The original structure called for $56,000 to first place, $33,000 for second, $22,000 for third and $15,000 for fourth. We made it 46 for first, 35 for second, 25 for third and 20 for fourth. The other players wanted to divide all the money up equally and quit playing, but I wanted to keep playing for several reasons. I was having fun, the structure was still great, and I felt I was the best player left. Also, you don't get a good sense of closure when you quit before the end. 
Three more players got busted, and suddenly we were down to three. I say suddenly, but the whole final table took forever. It lasted ten hours, and about half of that came when we were down to four players or less.
There were 11 million chips in play. At three-handed, one guy had about 5.5 million, I had 3.5 million, and the other guy had 2 million.
Surprisingly, I hadn't been in one all-in coin-flip situation the entire tournament. But that's what happened when the short stack moved all in with 99 and I called with Ace-Jack. I couldn't connect, and just like that I was the one on the verge of elimination.
Then I got lucky when the two other guys butted heads and played an all-in pot. The guy who had staved off elimination against me when his 99 won got quite lucky and busted the other player.
Now we're heads-up. He had 10 million, I had 1 million. But I just made $10,000 American dollars when the big stacks battled and I was guaranteed second-place money.
I won a coin flip to get to $2 million, then I kept chipping away at my chip deficit. My opponent was playing far too tight and passive, and I was winning about 75 percent of the pots. At one point, I counted my chips and I had 5.5 million, which meant he had 5.5 million and we were tied.
Unfortunately that's as close as I got to winning. He won a couple of decent-sized pots, and on my final hand I had about 4 million in chips to his 7. My opponent bluffed all-in for about five times the size of the pot, and I decided to call with a straight draw and a flush draw. In fact, I could have made a straight flush, the best hand in poker.
Although my opponent was bluffing, his Jack-high was technically ahead of my 5-high. I had a 62 percent chance of ending up with the best hand, however, so it was a good spot to take a commanding chip lead if I could win. It wasn't meant to be, and I ended up winning $35,000 for second place. Congrats to Alvin, a really nice man from Portugal who won the tournament.
It was after 4 a.m. when we finally finished, and I was absolutely exhausted and brain-dead. We played roughly 27 hours of poker in two days, with about five hours of sleep on the night in between and no dinner break on Day 2. I had to rely on Travis and Jason to make sure they paid me the correct amount and get us a taxi home. I honestly forgot we were in Vegas for a minute and was expecting to go to our home in Oklahoma City.

The $35,000 was truly a blessing from God and by far the most I've ever made in two days of poker. Still, I have to say I'm not any more fond of tournaments than I was before. It was a truly draining experience, and I know I got pretty lucky to make it that far. My personality is definitely more suited to the cash game structure, but at least I'll have a little more confidence now when I do enter a tournament.
I'll probably enter one or two more tournaments out here, but I'm still going to play primarily cash games.

Hopefully a little slice of life will happen soon to allow my blog to go back to its roots. But if not, I guess I'll take another $35,000 payday and write about that instead.