The Most Underhanded and Conniving People You'll Ever Meet

Why did I let my daughter have ice cream and a snow cone on the same day? Why did I let her watch back-to-back episodes of Octonauts when she needed to be cleaning her room? Why did I let her kick me out of my own bed at night so she could sleep with her mom while I was slept in the recliner?
Because 4-year-old girls are who's being described in the title of this blog.
Seriously, does God expect you to ever say no to the girl in the picture atop this page? I don't see how. I just played consecutive games of Memory, Candyland and Chutes and Ladders, and that was after being convinced that Chick-Fil-A would be a much better lunch than the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I had planned.
If Addison had it her way, she would never sleep in her own bed. One night, I was working late and Addie called on Missy's phone to ask if she could sleep on my side of the bed until I got home. I might as well have powdered some crack cocaine onto her Lucky Charms. Now it's a daily battle to get her to enter her own bedroom for any reason other than to try on every outfit she owns and leave the clothes in a 3-foot pile of destruction all over the room.
A few days after getting her first taste of Tempur-pedic, Addie called and asked again. There's no saying no to these requests. You would have to be Satan himself to refuse a "Daddy? I love you soooo much. Can I please sleep in your bed until you get home? Pleeeassse?" If I did say no, it would mean leaving my wife with an over-tired, screaming 4-year old while I hurry back to play a game of cards. This would seriously diminish the chances of ever having another 4-year old girl in the near future.
But after I said yes a few times, Addie knew she would get what she wanted, so her calls became slightly less adorable. "Daddy? I'm gonna KICK YOU OUT OF THE BED!!!!!!!" followed by an evil laugh.
Finally, Missy and I decided Addie needed to stay put in her own room. So she changed gears again. One night when I was home with the girls and Missy was at work, Addie asked if she could sleep on Mommy's side of the bed until she got home. I said no. She then thought for a minute with that cute puzzled look on her face that you know means she is seriously grinding the wheels in her head.
"Can I call Mommy at work and tell her good night?" I said, "Are you going to ask if you can sleep on her side of the bed?" She again got that look on her face while deciding whether or not to lie. Finally she scrunched her face up and said, "Yeahhhhhhhhhh"
I didn't recognize it when Addie was younger, but I now realize that little girls begin developing their manipulative qualities very early in life. We are doing foster care for an 8-month girl. The adoption process is underway and we hope to have good news in the not-too-distant future, but until then we aren't allowed to post her picture or her name in a public forum like this.
All she can do at this point in her life is eat, sleep, roll around and put everything in our house in her mouth. And yet she is already something of a diva.
During the day, she is the most pleasant 8-month old you can imagine. She smiles and giggles and doesn't even fuss when she's hungry or has a dirty diaper. But in the evening, when she is starting to get tired, she often gets in these moods where she is only happy when she is being held.
This can be annoying when I am trying to make dinner or take care of Addie, but our little infant sometimes gives me zero options. A blanket on the ground with some toys -- not good enough. Her bouncy horse thingy, which she usually loves -- no bueno. She will scream and cry at the top of her lungs until you pick her up and hold her, at which point she immediately quits crying and usually breaks out a smirk.
Occasionally there is a less severe occurrence of this phenomenon, one I like to exploit for comedic gain. Sometimes I'll put her in her horse-bouncer thingy, and she'll be fine as long as she can see me. But if I turn a corner it's Armageddon. When that happens, I like to pop in and out of the room every two seconds to see her go from giggly to my-world-is-ending over and over again. Moments like these either keep me sane or prove that I've already lost it. Hard to say which.
Anyway, I love my family and have every intention of being easily manipulated by these ladies for at least the next 20 years.