I'd Rather Watch Them Actually Bowling

I was subjected to cruel and unusual punishment Sunday night.
I went to the casino to play some poker, and they sat me directly across from the 90-inch big screen TV projector.
The Pro Bowl was on, and I was forced against my will to watch it for three hours.
I've always thought the Pro Bowl was a joke, but I hadn't watched any of it in at least five years. After watching it, my opinion has gone from it being a joke to being an outrage.
It's a ridiculous waste of everyone's time. To even call it "football" or "a sport" is an insult to everyone from Vince Lombardi to John Daly. Yes, I'm saying that fat golfers display more athleticism than what is seen in the Pro Bowl. The WNBA would be a close call.
I was just casually watching the game between hands of poker, with no sound. Early on, there was a handoff to LeSean McCoy. Right after he got it, the offensive and defensive linemen kind of slowed up, and McCoy made a half-hearted jog right into them and flipped the ball to the ref.
I just assumed there was a false start or something, but then it said "2nd and 8" on the screen and I realized there was no penalty. That's a football play??? Not only was he never tackled, he was never even close to being "in the grasp."
Between the hideous uniforms, the lack of athleticism displayed and all the hugging, I felt like I was watching "The Biggest Loser."
Look, I get it. These guys don't want to get hurt, and the game is simply a symbolic reward for a good season.
That's fine, but putting it on national television and expecting people to watch it is an insult. The NFL probably figures, "Hey, these idiots will watch the 6th round of our boring draft and they'll watch Tulane play Western Michigan in the Kill Yourself Bowl, so we'll just tell them to watch this."
We've got to take a stand.
The other sports at least have something to offer. The NBA All-Star game is a farce, but they do some cool dunks and try for the final two minutes if the game is close. Baseball's ASG is the best, because the players try just as hard as they would in a real game. You don't see CC Sabathia lobbing balls underhanded to Ryan Howard and then hugging after Howard smashes one into the upper deck.
A couple of my Facebook friends had good suggestions to improve the Pro Bowl. One said to turn it into a skills competition and another said to have a flag football game where the winning team wins a bunch of money so they try harder. Both are good ideas.
There's absolutely no reason to continue to play an actual football game under the current setup. It's even worse now that they moved the Pro Bowl in front of the Super Bowl. Players from the best team in each conference don't even show up. If I'm gonna watch a quarterback shred fake defenses, I'd much rather it be Tom Brady than Ben Roethlisberger.
Just announce who made the team and save us from the embarrassment of actually playing it. Do the skills thing, the flag football thing, or nothing. Whatever. Give us something worth putting on TV, or don't put anything on at all.