My last (possibly forever) visit to IHOP

This happened a few weeks ago, but it was too blog-worthy to leave alone.
I covered Bob Stoops' press conference in Norman, and I decided to go to IHOP to write my story before heading south to Riverwind for a poker session.
I wasn't even hungry, but I wanted to order something since I was taking up a table. I glanced through the menu and noticed they had a new strawberry cheesecake dessert, so I ordered it. You could get the cheesecake by itself for $4.69 or get it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream for $4.99. Obviously I got the ice cream.
I got started on my story and tried to fire up the internet, but it wasn't working. I mentioned it to the waitress but I wasn't really worried about it since I've filed lots of stories from IHOPs and they usually have reliable wireless access.
After 15 minutes, I still had no dessert and no internet. I thought it was odd since they just pull these desserts out of the freezer, but my story was almost done and I didn't really care about the food. Finally, the waitress walks up with a plate piled high with pancakes covered in strawberries. She also brought me a separate bowl with one scoop of ice cream.
I said, "No, I didn't have the strawberry pancakes, I had the strawberry cheesecake." She apologized and went back.
Another 15 minutes goes by, and as I'm finishing the story the waitress walks up with -- guess what -- some more freakin' pancakes covered in strawberries! I said, "No, I don't want pancakes. I wanted the strawberry cheesecake." She said, "Yeah I know, there's cheesecake bits inside the pancake."
(Huge sigh, palm pounding on forehead.)
I said, "Bring me a menu," and I pointed to the strawberry cheesecake on the menu. She said, "Oh, you just wanted the cheesecake."
It only took a second for her to bring that out, while I still couldn't get the internet to work to send my story. I asked for my check along with the cheesecake, though I should have never given her a dime. I kinda felt sorry for her.
So she brings the check and the cheesecake, while informing me that IHOP's internet is down today. Nice. And my check is for more than $10 despite the cheesecake being listed at $4.99 on the menu. They charged me $7.99 for strawberry cheesecake pancakes and $1.99 for a side of ice cream, plus tax.
I said, "I got charged for the strawberry cheesecake pancakes but the cheesecake I ordered was only $4.99."
When she got back from fixing that, she made sure to mention that she had to eat my pancakes because she gets one free meal a day, and if she didn't eat them as her meal she would be charged personally for them. I couldn't even muster any fake sympathy for that. I gave her a $20 bill and waited for the change.
She returned with a $10 bill and said, "Hey, you never ate your ice cream." That would be because it was totally melted by the time I got the cheesecake. I said, "You still owe me money. Remember, the cheesecake was only $5."
I found some matches in my car but getting an accelerant would have been inconvenient, so I decided not to burn the place down. Besides, I still had to find internet access to send my dadgum football story.