Wings Down/You got fired for WHAT?/How 'bout them Eagles

Had a few random run-ins over the past few days that seemed funny enough to write about...

Those of you who have ever been in the Riverwind poker room know how crowded it is. For those who don't, I'll try to explain it.
The casino did a pretty good job of putting the poker room in an enclosed area, away from most of the cigarette smoke and noises of the slots and music. It's got lots of TVs and the dealers are pretty good. It's the perfect size for a 12-table room. Unfortunately, they crammed 17 tables in there. It's so tight that there are really no aisles between the tables; anyone coming or going inevitably puts a knee in the back of someone's chair as they pass by.
Last weekend they had me in one of the worst seats in the entire room. I was in the corner seat near the "aisle" at one of the front tables, which means that anyone going to any table on my half of the room had to go by me. That's about 45 people, and I got to enjoy a knee to my back every time any one of them went by.
Actually, a knee to the back is the best-case scenario. God forbid you ever want to eat or drink anything at the table. The guy next to me had an iced tea on a tray between our seats. Someone came by and knocked it all over his lap, partially onto his cell phone, and all over the floor. Fun.
Against my better judgment, I decided to take part in "60-cent wing night" at the casino. The same tea-stained gentleman next to me and I decided to split a dozen wings.
The ending to this story is pretty obvious. Before we even got them, I asked the table how long it would take for someone to knock them onto the ground, and sure enough someone knocked them onto the ground. Some of the sauce got on my jacket but we were otherwise unscathed.
The guy who did it was pretty funny. He took out his wallet and half-heartedly offered to buy us more wings. I told him not to worry about it, and he said "Thanks bro" and was out the door in about three seconds flat.
That night, the floor got a better meal than we did. Iced tea and wings...not bad!

The next day I went to Walgreens to fill a prescription. While I was standing in line at the pharmacy, I hear the following cell phone conversation behind me.
"No, I don't think they'll give me unemployment. They already warned me about it and then I did it again so they fired me."
I did the slow turn-around where you act like you're looking at the top of Aisle 14 but you're really trying to check out the lady who doesn't feel the need to use her inside voice while talking about getting fired. There was instant recognition. I've never seen this chick in my life, yet I've seen her a thousand times. You know, the ones who never shut up and think everyone cares about their lives as much as they do. And most of them look similar to this one, with the multi-colored hair, over-the-top lipstick and outfit that looks like it was put together by fourth graders in arts and crafts class. Pretty much looked like the actress from "Criminal Minds."
I don't know where she was working or what she did to get fired. From that job, anyway. After a brief pause, she continued.
"No, I think it's the same thing that happened when I worked at Hertz. At Hertz I kept not showing up for work, so they warned me and put it in my file. Then I didn't show up some more, so they fired me. And they used that file to deny my unemployment."
Who knew? Companies prefer it when you show up for work? Good thing this lady was standing right behind me at Walgreens, otherwise I wouldn't have been privy to this crucial inside information...

On Monday it was so beautiful outside that I decided last-second to take Addison to the zoo. While she was playing at the playground, a lady approached me and asked about my hat. I could spot the crazy from a mile away.
I have several Major League Baseball hats from a variety of teams, and on this day I was wearing my Philadelphia Phillies hat. I'm not a Phillies fan, but my favorite NFL team is the Philadelphia Eagles. So here's our conversation.
Crazy chick: Hey! Is that a Phillies hat?
Me: Yeah.
Crazy chick: So are you a Steelers fan?
(This really doesn't make any sense at all. The Pittsburgh Steelers are in a different city and a different sport, but I guess being in the same state is all that counts).
Me: No, I'm actually an Eagles fan.
Crazy chick, shouting to her husband: Rob! We can't talk to this guy! He's an Eagles fan!
Me, thinking to myself: OK, too bad. I understand. See you later!
Crazy chick, talking to me now: Have you ever been to a game there?
Me: Yeah, it was pretty cool.
Crazy chick: I lived there for seven years. Did you go to a game when it was the Eagles playing against the Steelers?
Me: No, but I bet that would be a lot of fun.
Crazy chick: Um, no it wouldn't! Did you hear where a couple of years ago there was an Eagles fan who shot a Steelers fan? It's crazy!! One time my family came over and all the Steelers fans were in the living room and all the Eagles fans stayed in the kitchen!
(I'm starting to envision a scenario where an Eagles fan shoots a Steelers fan...)
Crazy chick: So, aren't the Eagles not having a very good year so far?
Me: Well, the season ended four months ago, but the Eagles didn't make the playoffs so, yeah, it wasn't a very good year so far.
Crazy chick: So that really is a Phillies hat?
Me: Addie! Let's go look at the elephants!!